Oct 222012

I hate when I do that, basicly gave away the entire article in the title. That basicly means I am typing something that no one is going to read…oh, heh, so just a normal blog post for me.

In anycase, for anyone who has watched Xena, or anyother hokey show with woman warriors,  are used to this over done plot point. You know the one, warrior maid refuses to marry until she meets the man who can defeat her in combat. Because that is what women really want in a husband. Not a great job, not a caring personallity. No, they want a man who can and will rough them up and boss them around….naturally these shows are written by men who never have and never will get to know real women.

Or will they? In China there are two women, Xiao Lin and her sister Yin  who say they will not marry until they are challenged and defeated in combat by a suitor. Lin says “They can choose open-hand combat or any weapon they wish but we won’t be  holding back. If they can’t beat us, they aren’t worthy.” Her sister Yin says “We tried dating agencies but the men we met were all too weak. ‘We could beat  them easily. So we went back to ancient ways, called bi wu zhao qin, which was  how warrior princesses would find their men.”

And to top it all off, they will be wearing masks so their suitor/opponents won’t know which one they are fighting, or even what they look like until afterward. It sounds like a scam to me.


Feb 242012

Although you may not know it, Iran’s nuclear ambition isn’t the only thing that is threatening our nation’s security. Indeed, we have defenses in place that can shoot down plans and missiles, but frankly, most of the Western world is unprepared to deal with Iran’s Ninja Army.

Yeah I know. Ninjas, there goes the neighborhood. If the rest of the world won’t sell Iran cutting edge technology, they decided to dig up some old world war-craft on us. Best part about this is what their stated mission for teaching women ninjutsu. Not to help the women gain personal safety, not to empower them, but no, to defend the nation against outside aggressors.  “We train women to have strength and ability. We have to do everything in our power to protect our homeland,” said Akbar Faraji, who runs the school.  “Our aim is for Iranian women to be strengthened and if a problem arises, we will definitely declare our readiness to defend our Islamic homeland.”

Well I guess ninjutsu is the perfect for them, its the only martial art that already makes its fighters train in a burka.

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Jan 092012

Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos, the worlds scariest woman tested positive for stanozolol metabolites following a Dec. 17 title defense at “Strikeforce: Melendez vs. Masvidal.” Naturally I was shocked…that no one had caught her before this. I mean really, she looks like a man. Or at the very least a woman on a high diet of testosterone. She’s so tough that when she married, she might have taken her husband’s last name, but she made him take her fight name (Evangelista “Cyborg” Santos) ! I’m not sure if the officials tested her medically or if they just looked at her after her last fight and exclaimed, “Enough is enough!”

Anyway, they’ve suspended her from fighting for one year and fined her $2500.  Most pro fighters at this level only fight twice a year anyway, so she really just got a “lose a turn” card, and she made $66,000 off this last fight, so the fine is less then the taxes she owes on the match. Not that much of a slap on the wrist. A better punishment is not to suspend her, or fine her, just make her have to take a weekly drug test for a year, see what that does to her fight career.

I am kind of sad that she didn’t get to fight Ronda Rousey (currently ranked #2 in the world). She’s an Olympic medalist in and fourth degree black belt in Judo and trains with Team Hayastan. I’m really excited to see the two of them fight. Not sure how four total pro matches can net you the #2 slot, but at least Ronda doesn’t look like some female steroid monster. She just wins with awesome judo.

Nov 272011

Its a big day here at From the Guard. No, trash day isn’t until Wednesday, and my anniversary isn’t until the third. Today marks our 100th blog post! I know you have all been counting and no doubt have some sort of grand gesture in store for us, but before you embarrass yourselves, I just want to remind you that I would do this just to make people happy. And for money. Scratch that, I would just do this for money. Save your thanks and send money. But if this blog makes you happy, heck I’m ok that with too.
Today I have a video dealing with Preemptive self defense.

 Its a difficult subject to be sure. I think like most things, as long as its funny, and not at my expense I think it should be not only legal, but supported with tax payer money. Bam! Just went political on you!


Nov 262011

Jon Jones is fighting Llyoto Machida for the light heavy weight title in the UFC at UFC 140 (December 10th). To help him get ready, he is working with top female boxer Holly Holm, to work on his striking skills. Ladies please don’t hate me that I find this news note worthy. There was a time when the idea of top male fighter working with a women fighter would have been absurd. I am personally thrilled that women have stepped it up and have honed their skills to this level finally. Below is a short video of them sparring.

 You can tell from the flashes that this was more of a press event then a real work out, but still to all you skeptics out there, if Greg Jackson and Jon Jones realize the fighting potential women have, there’s nothing left to argue with.

Oct 112011


As much as we enjoy the bone breaking aspects of the martial arts, all martial arts have one thing in common, Self Improvement. Above is a video series my buddy Grizzly started in his personal quest for self improvement. So far we are on episode 5 and he’s already lost 31lbs, and has kept us all entertained. He puts out new episodes every Friday, and other funny vids even more often. Check out his youtube channel and let me encourage you to subscribe to it. Grizzly, (a.k.a. Justin Almanzar) is a martial artist who trains Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and Full Contact karate. The lady who appeared in this Episode is Chrissy Fuller, a cop, BJJ and Judo Champion. They make me laugh. So check them out and show some support.

Sep 222011
Gracie pink belt

Watch it fella' I've got a pink belt in ridiculous!

Think that’s a joke? Oh you wish it was. This is yet another awful idea from the Gracie Academy (not to be confused with the Gracie family at large, its just run by some of the many family members). They now run an online qualification course to net you the rare (and not at all demeaning to women) Pink belt!

Yes yes my friends, for low price of $84.99 you can train at home and earn your very own Gracie Academy Pink belt. After all, women don’t have a pretty little thought in their pretty little heads, if they do their lessons like good little girls, we’ll give them a pretty belt. It represents BJJ women empowerment.

Suggestion for your next product Gracie Academy, the polka dot belt of female dignity. It would look nice around your training apron. All the men will be so impressed.

Sep 222011

No matter what style you train, most of the students at your school, at the vast majority of the experienced students are male. In Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, or any full contact martial art, the percentages are less. Much of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu was developed by Helio Gracie because he was smaller and weaker, and couldn’t make alot of Judo moves work for him against larger fighters. That sounds like a perfect martial art for women. So where are they? I think men keep women out of grappling!

Now, I love articles like this one, where I, a man, am going to tell you what women think. I am sure I will get a few women to reading this just so they can laugh at my attemps to figure them out. Basicly I think my question will deal with why in heck would women want to be able train grappling? More after the Jump

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