Jan 232012

As a martial artist, you have to be careful what you use your fame to endorse. Well, you might have to worry about this. I’m pretty sure I could endorse kool aid as a weight loss wonder drug and no one would take offense…or be aware of it. Never the less, even local martial arts instructors have to be careful of the what they promote to their students for two reasons, 1, they some times don’t realize you are joking. and 2, sometimes martial arts instructors give awful advice.

When will people learn that being a great martial artist doesn’t imbue a man (or woman) with expertise in any other area? Just like we have all had to realize that being a great martial artist doesn’t make you an actor…well I’ve realized it anyway, the rest of you are just slow.

Anyway today is a list of martial arts stars endorsements that amuse and confuse us. After the break

5. David Carradine No Limitations…exersise…thingy

So basically, after doing kung fu and a few other bit pieces, David decided that he too should use his star power to make some moneys. So he decided to try to market an 18 inch piece of garden hose. I understand Bruce Lee said it was best to have “No way as a way” but when it comes to selling a peiece of exercise equipment (and I use that term lightly) it might be helpful if the whole point wasn’t to just flail around with it aimlessly. I would be really interested to find out how many were sold.

4. Chuck Norris Action Jeans

Yeah, I know. I could have used his endorsement of the total body gym, or of former Governor Mike Huckabee, but strangely, I think action jeans are much funnier. We’ve all been there. You are sitting around with friends and you say, “You know what I wish? I wish I had jeans like Chuck Norris.” If it worked with Michael Jordon doing shoes, why not Norris and pants? After all, who did Jordon ever fight anyway?

3. Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt Energy Drink

I’m not a big fan of Steven Seagal. But when you think about Master Seagal, what comes first to my mind. No, not awful action movies, no not blood vessel popping rage over his claims to have taught Anderson Silva how to front kick, I wonder what gives him his energy, and now we have the answer, Steven Seagal’s Lightning bolt energy drink! He is quoted on Wikipedia as saying ¬†“I have traveled the world creating this drink; there is none better that I know.” He also has his own aftershave called Scent of Action. Not making this stuff up.

2.  Wanderlei Silva and Mark Coleman for Schick razors and aftershave

Oh the things we do for money. I am not sure how much money I would have to be paid to lather another man’s face and shave him on tv, but I am guessing alot more then these two were paid. Oh Japan. I am at a loss to even mock this ad. Mark Coleman, how could you out do Steven Seagal at embarrassing yourself?

 1. Bob Sap Endorses Pizza

Its just pizza right? Sounds pretty harmless. But no, not in Japan. In the USA, if we told a black star that we wanted to get him to dance around like an idiot so we could laugh at him, we would most likely be called totally racist. And if we said it to a man as big as Bob Sap, we would also be beaten within an inch of our lives. But in Japan, they don’t see the problem. And now, neither do I.

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