Oct 182011
 

So yeah, in MMA news, Chael Sonnen said “blah blah blah” And Anderson Silva’s manager fired back, “blah blah blah.” You know, the usual. Studies have shown that the average level of how much I care had fallen in recent weeks. So instead of reporting on whats happened lately, I instead offer this fictional account of a discussion between key players.

Chael Sonnen: I want to fight Anderson Silva again!
Dana White: Yeah, we already did that once, get in line.
Chael: But I almost won!
Dana: Almost.
Chael: I don’t consider that a loss!
Anderson Silva: Well you didn’t have to tap out. Dana, I decided I only want to do four more fights, then I’ve thought about becoming a pro boxer!
Dana: This is for both of you, no you can’t, and no one cares.
Chael: If you don’t give me a rematch I’ll TALK REALLY LOUD AND NEVER SHUT UP!
Dana: I already have the Diaz brothers to be obnoxious, find something else to be your thing.
Chael: ANDERSON SILVA, YOU SUCK!
Dana: Again, no one cares. And I’m not giving you a rematch just because you are loud.
Chael: BUT I WANT A REMATCH!
Dana: Ignore him, maybe he’ll go away
Anderson: I’m going to go coach Lloto Machida for his fight with Jon Jones.
Dana: Good, you could learn something from those two yourself, at least people want to watch that match.
Anderson: But I’m the best fighter in the world.
Dana: I know, but no one wants to watch your matches.
Chael: I WANNA FIGHT HIM!
Dana: Are you still here?!

And ah…that’s basically what’s been happening lately.

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