Feb 222012

A new study has concluded that bathing in cold water after training is great for helping your muscles recover and preventing muscle soreness. 366 people were forced to run for a period, then immerse themselves in tubs of icy water for up to 24 minutes. The result was those who were cruelly  frozen reported less muscle soreness then those who didn’t. We of course realize that tests like these are nothing more then propaganda from coaching lobby groups. The coaching and instructor lobbyists are dedicated the justification of hazing preformed on athletes of all kinds. The glaring flaw with this study is that of course those people who had to sit in an ice bath reported less soreness, they were afraid that they would be forced back into the ice tubs if they didn’t give the answer researchers wanted! Its like saying “New study has found that people who are threaten with violence are less inclined to testify in court then those who haven’t been subjected to intimidation!

Anyone who has done any serious training knows that trainers and coaches of all kinds thrive on hazing their trainees. Martial artists are no different. Look at the Shaolin monks, they made their students stand on their heads for hours and then they made them break bricks on their heads. Judo classes normally start off by making their students repeatedly throw themselves at the ground to “learn how to fall”. (What stupid excuse, everyone knows how to fall! Its basic gravity.) You know that Judo sensei is just standing in the front of class laughing. Karate guys have had to hit wooden poles with their bare fists for years. MMA fighters…well… mixed martial arts training is where the people who like getting hazed go…

But whatever you do now, you can look forward to a nice ice bath when you finish. Remember, I’m gunning pulling for you!

Feb 172012

You simply can’t run a martial arts blog without talking about ninjas. I mean you really can’t, ninja’s will enforce this rule and you won’t see it coming. Because they are freaking ninjas!

The other reason is because most people only think of two things when they think of martial arts, Tae Kwon Do (and strangely they think they are thinking of karate), or Ninjitsu (but really they are thinking of Chris Farly). So I guess it is no surprise to you that there are children’s books about ninjas. Well it is a surprise to me!

Because I don’t mean children oriented like anime, I mean like easy reading. I have even found a site that will read it out loud to you, or your child. Now I’ve only listened to a short bit, but the story plot is like this, two kids have a magic tree house and it transports them to Japan where they run into some friendly ninja who help them find their lost friend. Some time down the road the ninja disembow someone and the kids spend the rest of their childhood in thearipy.

I didn’t listen to the end, so that last part may be slightly off the mark, but last time I checked the main things ninjas did was killing folks, and interestingly enough most parents try to keep their children away from that kind of thing, or so I am told.

 Posted by at 8:16 am
Feb 102012

If you follow the UFC at all, you know Joe Rogan. He’s the really loud commentator who give the impression that he is on cocaine most of the time. I think this is due to being on cocaine most of the time. Of the two commentators who host the UFC broadcasts, he is the only one who seems to know anything about martial arts.

This comes as little surprise to most UFC enthusists who know that Mr Rogan is one of the senoir students of 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu’s Eddie Bravo, who ironicly is normally always stoned. I hesitate to metion Mr Bravo ever since the rant I was lucky enough to touch off when I talked to Royce Gracie on the subject. However what some of us might not know is that Joe Rogan is a second degree Tae Kwon Do Black belt and national champion. And according to GSP, he has the best spinning side kick.

So who knew

Jan 182012

Miyamoto Musashi, a samurai from the 1500s is credited with being the greatest swordsman of all time. His well known book on strategy “The Book of Five Rings” has been read by martial artists and supposedly (I don’t buy that dispite what I see at Barnes and Noble) businessmen, for years. A lesser known works was the Dokkodo, or the Path of Aloneness (which my spell checker claims is not a word) which he wrote at the same time, that odd end part of his life where he lived in a cave. There were twenty precepts, and I thought I would take a look at them

More after the break

Continue reading »

 Posted by at 7:21 am
Jan 162012

You may or may not have heard about Gina Carano starring in the upcoming movie Haywire. Gina Carano was the ranked third pound for pound when she retired from MMA, and suffered her only loss to Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos. So she is an exceptional fighter, and a lady fighter that still looks like a lady. There is some talk about trying to get her to return to MMA to fight Cyborg once she returns from her drug suspension. Honestly, I don’t know what she has to prove anymore, and if she can make some money making movies, that’s the course I would chose if I were her.

Anyway this brings me to my point, her voice isn’t being featured in her much hyped movie!

Yeah, for some reason they are voicing over her lines! When asked about she said

“Yeah absolutely and I’m surprised that hasn’t come up sooner. Stephen Soderberg wanted Mallory Kane [the character she plays in the movie] to be a completely different entity than Gina Carano. So he definitely went in and I went in to AVR and he did some tweaking. We all knew that that was going to come up because people know me so well in the MMA world. But he is quite a genius in what he has created and it still was an honor to be a part of it.

Even though it might not sound exactly like me, there are still parts of me that are in there. But he just wanted to make sure that that entity was completely different from myself…Yeah, everyone was a little curious about that. And I don’t blame anyone for being curious about it. But if I was bald and they had given me the voice of Bill Clinton I still would have done the movie”

Good for you Gina for puting the brave face on it, but it sounds like something else is going on. I don’t know if Gina can’t act or what, but somehow I doubt they just wanted to make her sound less like Gina Carano.



 Posted by at 7:23 am
Jan 102012

In South Korea, there is a Buddhist temple called Beomeosa ( which means “Temple of the Nirvana Fish” and no, I am not making this stuff up),which was built 1400 years ago. This temple is notable for teaching its monks a martial art called Sunmudo. These monks became famous when they helped defeat the invading Japanese army in the 1500’s under Shogun Hideyoshi. (That is to say the army was under the command of Hideyoshi, not the monks. Not really sure who commanded the monks. So stop interrupting ya goon!) They slipped out of history until Japan, being really stubborn about wanting to own Korea, invaded again in during World War II. The monks were all like, “Oh no you don’t!” and used their temple as a base for the underground resistance

Anyway its all about wide movements and jumping. The new master (last one recently died) decided that the martial art should be offered to the public, which is expressly against the wishes of the late master. When asked about this, the current master, monk Ando  “Absolutely, he would not be happy, he’d think my actions were too outlandish. I’d probably get the paddle.”

But that doesn’t stop him from building training centers in Korea and planning one to be built in Los Angeles. I guess that’s where he’d add “Cause I’m the master now!” but knowing these people, he’d probably just think it quietly to himself.

 Posted by at 7:27 am
Jan 092012

Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos, the worlds scariest woman tested positive for stanozolol metabolites following a Dec. 17 title defense at “Strikeforce: Melendez vs. Masvidal.” Naturally I was shocked…that no one had caught her before this. I mean really, she looks like a man. Or at the very least a woman on a high diet of testosterone. She’s so tough that when she married, she might have taken her husband’s last name, but she made him take her fight name (Evangelista “Cyborg” Santos) ! I’m not sure if the officials tested her medically or if they just looked at her after her last fight and exclaimed, “Enough is enough!”

Anyway, they’ve suspended her from fighting for one year and fined her $2500.  Most pro fighters at this level only fight twice a year anyway, so she really just got a “lose a turn” card, and she made $66,000 off this last fight, so the fine is less then the taxes she owes on the match. Not that much of a slap on the wrist. A better punishment is not to suspend her, or fine her, just make her have to take a weekly drug test for a year, see what that does to her fight career.

I am kind of sad that she didn’t get to fight Ronda Rousey (currently ranked #2 in the world). She’s an Olympic medalist in and fourth degree black belt in Judo and trains with Team Hayastan. I’m really excited to see the two of them fight. Not sure how four total pro matches can net you the #2 slot, but at least Ronda doesn’t look like some female steroid monster. She just wins with awesome judo.

Dec 292011

The Internet has done great things for the country. We can send messages anywhere in the world quickly and for free. Pictures of cats doing funny things can now be shared with dizzying speed, and best of all, trash talk among martial arts can reach epic levels.

To illustrate, I have assembled a pie chart for your examination.

Martial arts online

This is based on information I made up on the spot which I have acquired from years of making things up. However, since this was plugged into a pie chart, I insist is stands as undeniable proof misuse of Internet resources by the martial arts. Naturally, this blog belongs in that 4% you see there in red.

Why do I say that martial arts are misusing their bandwidth? It comes down to a joke I heard the other day.

Dude 1: How many martial artists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Dude 2: I don’t know, how many?

Dude 1: One hundred. One to screw in the light bulb and ninety nine to watch and complain about how under qualified he is.

Dude 2: I don’t get it.

But I did. 86% of the Internet martial arts resources are devoted to talking about how much the martial artists love their own martial art and how bad they think all other martial arts are, and how stupid their followers are. Now I see nothing wrong with this. It is a time honored tradition of martial arts to talk trash about each other, but it used to be confined to the dojo and it used to be couched in flowery respectful language.

Instructor: I visited (fill in the blank martial arts school) today.

Student: How was it.

Instructor: Their teacher was very respectful.

Student: Thats good. How was the class.

Instructor: You know that I have always said to be respectful of other styles, so I don’t want to be disrespectful to theirs, but I could have totally killed everyone there with my eight fingered wing chop of death.

Now you don’t have to go to class. In fact, you don’t even have to attend class. I get the feeling that most of these young trash talkers have never been to a class! Listen young whippersnappers, the forms must be observed! Talk trash the way its supposed to be done, with back biting and double talk, none of this flaming and TYPING IN CAPS! And no, I don’t care how long you have “Trained UFC on youtube” and “Wrestling my little brother” doesn’t count either, you

Dec 242011

Sorry for all the videos lately, but with the Holidays, every spare moment has been filled. I am sure that the three fans I have forgive me, so I have this tid bit for them. Alot of Stick fighting school fall into the reality martial art side of the martial art continuum. I mean, if we want to be realistic, who wants to fight someone bare handed in the first place. Well in the video below, two crazy stick fighters beat the tar out of each other in the woods, in one of the more realistic sparring matches I think I have seen.

Ouch. I am not sure it was worth it. Kind of funny how it turned into a grappling match at the end. And they say BJJ is unrealistic.

Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.