Oct 062011

Due to my brain not working, the best I can offer you is a list of disjointed facts. These could come in handy. Lets say you need to impress your boss.
Boss: Did you ever finish that job I asked you to do”
You: Did you know who the shortest pro fighter is?
Boss: …er no, sorry to bother you…it won’t happen again.
At this point I would like to hope you will take this chance to plug the blog to all your co-workers.

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Sep 222011

No matter what style you train, most of the students at your school, at the vast majority of the experienced students are male. In Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, or any full contact martial art, the percentages are less. Much of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu was developed by Helio Gracie because he was smaller and weaker, and couldn’t make alot of Judo moves work for him against larger fighters. That sounds like a perfect martial art for women. So where are they? I think men keep women out of grappling!

Now, I love articles like this one, where I, a man, am going to tell you what women think. I am sure I will get a few women to reading this just so they can laugh at my attemps to figure them out. Basicly I think my question will deal with why in heck would women want to be able train grappling? More after the Jump

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Sep 162011

Every martial art school has had at least one of these guys. As soon as you get rid of one, another walks in the door. Normally he gives himself away with the statement, “I want to be a cage fighter.” or “I’ve been training online for a while now.” If you’re gym is unlucky enough to not have “that guy” enrolled, follow these easy tips to step up and become “That Guy

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 Posted by at 12:47 pm  Tagged with:
Aug 112011

Wow, busy week. I’ve ignored the last week’s UFC so completely that I’ve given up at this point and instead give you the top 5 weirdist martial arts weapons.

Martial arts generally make sense. We start simple, punching folks, then progress to kicking people, biting, clawing, etc. Then some wise guy thinks, “Why don’t I just chunk you with a rock.” And someone else picks up a stick, and its all down hill from there. I don’t know how many generations it took for martial artists to come up with some of these, but they leave you with the just one question. Why?

5.The Iron Fan

For the dainty martial artist

So someone says, I need something to defend myself at formal occasions, that will match my dress, and help me deal with the lack of air conditioning. So he took the the lightest object he could find and decided to make it into a weapon to hit people. I give you the iron fan. It was a simple design, basicly iron slats replaced the wooden ones and when you folded the fan, it made a decent club and could be used for blocking.



4.Hook swords
We have all thought it at one time or another. Our main problem with a sword? Too pointy. You could put someone’s eye out! So the Chinese took the end of the sword and bent it into a crook, took the point and put it on the hilt (so you could stab yourself) and there it was, the hook sword. Honestly, kind of a cool weapon. It was used in pairs so that enemy weapons could be trapped and countered.


3.Monk’s Staff
It was right after the staff was invented. Some shaolin monk got drunk and when he woke up he found he had speared a bird cage. His students said “Master were you drinking last night?” He glared at them and insisted he had done that on purpose, and had to figure out how to fight with one on the spot.


2.Claw on a rope
One day two kung fu masters were standing around arguing about which of their styles was more powerful. One of them finally said, “Well our style can kill a man ten feet away with a back scratcher!” and to back up his claims this baby was born. It kind of looks like a kung fu meteor hammer with a claw attached. As far as I can tell this is called (and excuse my spelling) a Fei-Zhua? I am not sure that this weapon makes it faster to kill someone, but it looks like it will hurt.


Used by a martial art in southern India, it had a handle like a sword and thin whip like blades that could be coiled and carried with you. I speak only for myself, but I would do more harm to myself then I could ever do to an attacker with one of these crazy whip swords. When I think about the amount of work that it must take to make one of these, and all the training to learn how to not kill one’s self, I gave it the number one space for inciting most strongly the question why?

Jul 242011

Yeah I know, this kind of thing has been done to death, but every time I turn a round I have someone repeating one of these jewels of martial wisdom. Oddly enough, these myths (normally spawned from an ’80’s martial arts flick) are normally repeated by high ranking black belts!

6. The Gi (Martial arts training uniform) was based on traditional japanese samurai clothing.
Yeah, I wish. At some point all of us non-Japanese Americans need to realize YOU ARE NOT AND CAN NOT BE A SAMURAI. Sorry, I don’t care if Tom Cruse did it in a move. Kano (founder of judo) decided that tearing each other’s clothing apart wasn’t a good idea, so adoped the jackets worn by japanese firefighters called hanten. These tended to be heavy cotton and could be soaked to help deal with heat. Yeah I know, wearing cotton to deal with fires, well, you use what you have. You’ve got an oven mitt don’t you? Naturally they adapted the hanten to fit their needs better, but as you can tell from the picture (view from the back) it looks like a martial arts uniform to me! Now unless the samurai spent a lot of their time being firefighters, and I’m not saying no one did, it’s really not samurai garb.

5. You can kill a man by hitting him in the nose and jambing it up into his brain.
Don’t get me wrong, you very well might die if you managed to shove someone’s nose, or any other body part into their brain. However, there is no angle you can hit to make this happen. You would have to cave their skull in before you had a chance to shift their nose towards the brain, and your opponent is likely already dead, or on his way there.

4. You can stick your fingers into your opponent’s eye and into his brain.
Sorry to be stuck on ugly things like this, but really, has anyone ever seen a human skull? The sockets that the eyes sit in do not connect to the inside of the skull except for a really tiny hole that the optic nerve runs through to the brain.

3. The black belt in martial arts came from ancient times when the blood and dirt of training staining a fighter’s belt until it turned black.
No, Kano (founder of judo again. Thank you sir!) decided if the teacher wore a different color belt then the rest of the class it would be easier to identify him, oh yeah, and this started in 1886, which was six years after the light bulb was invented and the first pay phone was installed (very ancient) . The other colors of rank came from one of his students, Mikonosuke Kawaishi, in 1935. Yes, we had aircraft carriers, submarines and cars were common. Heh
2. Neck breaks are the ultimate killing techniques. If you know a neck break you can easily kill a man.
Well maybe you know one, but as a general rule of thumb, the majority of these methods require a surprise attack from behind Neck breaking techniques are best implemented by a very strong man versus a much weaker adversary who is struggling helplessly, otherwise they are extremely difficult to perform. Neck snaps are typically a “finishing move” used on a fallen opponent who is either unconscious or too exhausted to defend himself, hence, they have no reasonable application to the study of self-defense. In our country, performing a finishing move on a helpless individual is known as “murder,” and carries stiff penalties. And chunking a passed out man with a rock is still easier to do.

1 .The Shaolin Temple is the source of all martial arts.
China had been doing martial arts for some time. It was a cultural thing, but until 1517 A.D., there is no record of martial arts being practiced there, despite there are plenty of people who mentioned the temple in their writings before that point. Now there are plenty of records from the Ming dynasty that tell of Shaolin’s monks doing cool stuff, but Jiu Jitsu and Ken Jitsu among others were already being practiced in Japan at this time. Now all you Kung fu people out there, I am not saying China wasn’t the cultural seat of the area, and most likely most martial arts were flavored by Chinese influence, I am just saying there is no proof that it started everything!