May 182012
 

Rank was one of the best and worst inventions of martial arts. As a teacher I’ve seen people reach whole new levels of martial proficiency because of the encouragement the pursuit of rank gives them. But everyone knows a few people who either bought their rank online, or simply ordered themselves a black belt and started referring to themselves as “master”. This has been rampant in traditional martial arts for years, but it has even started to bleed over into the combat sport side of martial arts such as Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I personally like to make fun of the Gracie Academy and their online belt testings as well as their Pink Belt they offer women, but I saw this ad in a magazine lately.

I have no doubts that Marcel would twist me into a knot if he wanted to, but I laugh so hard at the fact that if you fly out and train with him they guarantee you will get a promotion. Not that you will increase your skills, not that you will see results in your training, no, you are guaranteed a belt promotion. I have no idea how much training for two days with Marcel Louzado would cost (his site says he charges $135 an hour), but I am grateful for the honesty in advertising. So please send in your donations, this blog writer has belt to buy

May 112012
 

I want to be a responsible for coming up with concepts for extreme sports. I think all you need to invent the next big thing (and by big thing, I mean one or two viral videos on youtube) is to have $30, a few crazy friends, and the reasoning skills of an eleven year old. Then you plug random words into the following sentence.

Wouldn’t it be cool if we took (insert sport) and added (insert cool noun)!

Some ideas I’ve come up with using this process are

Wouldn’t it be cool if we took sking and added Rocket Launchers!

Wouldn’t it be cool if we took baseball and added motorcycles!

Wouldn’t it be cool if we took hunting and added the Statue of Liberty!

As you can see, it works. Well it seems I’m not the only one who thinks so, apparently even back in 1949 they were doing this, and without the aid of the Internet…and that’s just silly. I give you blind folded boxing.

Now the girl who walks around and smacks you if you aren’t being aggressive enough is awesome.

Don’t forget to share this with your friends

May 102012
 

A valid question that all martial artists must ask themselves as they train. The second question is which street? Below is a video of real life street fight. Take a look and let me know if you think your martial arts can match either of the two men involved.

 

Good news friends, I think we will be alright this time. And if either of the two men are amoung my readers, please contact me and we’ll get some lessons set up for you.

May 092012
 

Depending on what you read, MMA is either human dog fighting, a sport that should be included in the Olympics, what True martial arts should be, or an abomination that needs to be stopped. Therefore when you tell your friends and family that your are training for MMA, it will conjure many different pictures in their minds, here are a few.

This is what your parents think you do when you tell them you do MMA

Thats nice honey, I hear its good for your flexibility

Continue reading »

May 032012
 

I’m not really sure if this counts as martial arts related. I mean, tazers are self defense weapons, which is related to martial arts… so if you take a hand full of MMA rejects and make them play a weird football/soccer hybrid, surely this counts.

Well it doesn’t matter anyway. Of the eight people who read this blog only three are aware that its martial arts related anyway, and the other five are personal friends or family who read the blog out of guilt. Which I inflict on them. So click on share tabs…or I’ll make you feel guilty

Thanks Dad.

Anyway, Ultimate Tazer Ball. Have you noticed that if you put the word “Ultimate” before any sport, it always lowers the IQ of the average participant? Well in this case, you get a gient soccer ball (which you are perfectly alowed to carry in your hands) and try to get it into the opposing team’s goal. And you have tazers which you can shock the life out of your opponents. I know what you are thinking. Why? Not sure, its nice to know that there is something less intellegent then Shock Fighting but I’ve posted a video of it anyway.