Sep 302011

Tae Kwon Do takes its share of mockery in the martial arts world. The Combat sports people like to pick on if for the lack of contact, the Traditional crowd claims they are too sport orinted, and the Reality self defense dudes say that the high kicks wouldn’t work in real life. Like any martial art, there is plenty to be made fun of in TKD. However, I don’t feel like poking them, not today. You see I repect TKD for a very simple reason. They are very good at what they d. It doesn’t matter if you like BJJ people, you have to hand it to them, they can grapple. Judo folks can throw. Boxers can hit hard and slip punches like no body’s business. Alot of martial arts don’t seem to be too good at anything. Every time I hear a martial arts instructor picking on another martial art, I want to interupt and ask, “So what do you do?” Tae Kwon Do people can kick like a… crazy…kicking…thing, and they can do it while someone else is try to hit them.

Here’s a video of some awesome TKD. There is a music track, so you can listen or mute it as you choose.

Sep 292011

As a young man raised in the martial arts, I was fed stories of awesome master martial artists that could use their energy to make themselves stronger, root themselves to the ground so that couldn’t be moved, armor themselves against injury, and even read other people’s minds. Naturally,  it was too dangerous couldn’t perform these feats on me. Once an instructor brought in a tape of the UFC, and we watched it and were asked to point out the fighter’s lack of education, and show where the fighters could have been easily knocked out if they had only known the correct pressure points. I asked why a correctly trained fighter had never gone to fight so the world could see their mistake. Because, real martial artists don’t sully themselves with vulgar sport martial arts.

Now its easy to say this is was just a weird teacher. However, its kind a trend in many martial arts schools. I am sure alot of you were raised the same way. I only give this introduction so you know that as I mock this, I feel like I have the background to do so.

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Sep 282011

Martial arts are apparently much more a part of the culture then they are over here. In another example of why Asia is cool, the Chinese government has installed punching bags in train stations so that commuters can release their stress.



Accourding to the goverenment report, the average comuter will spend 30 hours a year standing and waiting for the train. I guess getting sweaty in your business attire does not worry them. One has to wonder how stressed out these people are that their need to beat something can’t wait until they get home.

Sep 272011


The video is titled “Kids Cage Fighting: Sport or Child abuse. I saw this news item, and I thought to myself, “Crap, has some nut job started trying to make money off of kids fighting?” So I watched the video…Well, the kids are in a MMA cage…and they are grappling, so I guess that counts as fighting. When we put that together, it is Cage…fighting. However, if you are anything like me, you pictured two kids beating each other bloody as a sinister crowd cheered in the background. In the video clip, these two boys don’t even get near a submission let alone hitting each other. It looked more like a wrestling match! But they did it in a ring while wearing rashguards! How much more can the American public take! Rashguards!

I love the anchorman, his questions inform you that he has no idea what he just watched, nor does anything being said to him sink in. It reminds me of how many people react to the idea of being an MMA fighter. They don’t really know what it is, but they are against it, like any uninformed concerned citizen would be.

Sep 262011
MMA with a hint of nerd

If you read this blog, you most likely like to fight, or at least are interested in fighting. Some of you might even compete in competitions that are definately borderline stupid. However there is a breed of person out there who is trying to out do us all in terms of reckless violence. Called Fight Club Sadisco, in Arizona, which as they bill it, is an annual underground event…does it count as underground if everyone knows about it? They claim they try to keep things as close to the book (Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk) as they can, so there are no gloves, no declared winner, and no cash prizes… oh and they fight in a make shift cage on cardboard. Want to watch? Of course that is $11 a head. Forgive me for pointing out that this is completely besides the point ofthe book.

So basically, you get the fun of getting the tar hammered out of you, for free, on cardboard, while someone makes money off of your stupidity. I would like to point out that there are venues where you can fight and GET PAID to do so. I could almost understand this kind of thing if MMA was illegal, but it isn’t! And MMA gloves and mouth guards aren’t that bad! Really! I guess I am the only one who is a fan of having front teeth! But I guess if you just want to get hurt for free knock your self out.

Sep 232011

Apparently, the Japanese national sport suffers from as much scandal as any of our own. The  Japan Sumo Association (JSA), which recently admitted to the long-suspected malfeasance that has caused the sport’s meltdown. There are cases of steroids use,  wrestlers connected with Yakuza-run betting racket, and match fixing. This might not really matter to us, after all, why should that sport be any different then any other, but because of Sumo’s religious and cultural importance. Its kind of a big deal

Akinoshima, the greatist champion in the history of the sport (1500 years!)now retired and training Sumo fighters of his own told his students,If anyone in my stable was under suspicion, I’d tell him to commit hara-kiri and die.” I am not sure if being someone’s Sumo coach gives you that kind authority, but still kind of scary. 
How and why would anyone have a motive to debase a sport of nearly naked fat guys trying to throw one another? Well I’ll put it to you this way. The average Sumo makes $20,000 a month. The Champions make more, so if that is the kind of money these guys pull in, there is plenty of cash tied up in this mess. The problem is that causing Sumo to lose face in the eyes of the public could spell the end of the martial art. Akinoshima says, “For without the sumo spirit, all this is nothing more than pigs colliding.”

 Posted by at 12:15 pm
Sep 222011
Gracie pink belt

Watch it fella' I've got a pink belt in ridiculous!

Think that’s a joke? Oh you wish it was. This is yet another awful idea from the Gracie Academy (not to be confused with the Gracie family at large, its just run by some of the many family members). They now run an online qualification course to net you the rare (and not at all demeaning to women) Pink belt!

Yes yes my friends, for low price of $84.99 you can train at home and earn your very own Gracie Academy Pink belt. After all, women don’t have a pretty little thought in their pretty little heads, if they do their lessons like good little girls, we’ll give them a pretty belt. It represents BJJ women empowerment.

Suggestion for your next product Gracie Academy, the polka dot belt of female dignity. It would look nice around your training apron. All the men will be so impressed.

Sep 222011

No matter what style you train, most of the students at your school, at the vast majority of the experienced students are male. In Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, or any full contact martial art, the percentages are less. Much of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu was developed by Helio Gracie because he was smaller and weaker, and couldn’t make alot of Judo moves work for him against larger fighters. That sounds like a perfect martial art for women. So where are they? I think men keep women out of grappling!

Now, I love articles like this one, where I, a man, am going to tell you what women think. I am sure I will get a few women to reading this just so they can laugh at my attemps to figure them out. Basicly I think my question will deal with why in heck would women want to be able train grappling? More after the Jump

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Sep 212011

Looking through my old videos when I found this. Why can’t more companies make commercials like this. It couldn’t have been too much more expensive then what we normally get. Enjoy

Sep 202011

 Every martial art tends to venerate its founder. Those of us who grew up on a diet of martial arts movies and shows attribute almost supernatural powers to the old school masters. For example Chuck Norris can solve a rubix cube in one turn. Its true, I read it on the Internet. Bruce Lee can apparently defeat anybody at anything. His surviving students claim that if he had wanted to, he would have been one of the top three boxers in the world, and that he was really a great grappler, he just never taught it to anyone. No matter how you look at it, we had a time where there were some really great martial artist wondering the world. The question is always asked, how good a fighter were these men really. We hear about how awesome they were, how fast, how deadly, but who did they ever fight? So I’ve compiled a list of famous martial artists and their respective fighting records.

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